The time you’ve been in my life has impacted me so much. As parents you have shown me even more. I used to think that I would never deserve love after being thrown away by the ones I considered my family. Yet when I entered your home not only did I learn to feel loved again but how to trust myself to love others. You guys have honestly taught me how to believe in something called family again, and more importantly, a home. It may have taken some bumps in the road and stressed out incidents but by the end of every day I am so grateful to have a bed to lie in, in my own room, where I finally feel welcome and for once… loved.
It’s been so long since I’ve been able to consider a house a home again. Or consider myself truly a part of a family.
Or consider a pair of loving parents as my own. I thank you both so very much for bringing these feelings back into my life. I feel special everyday just because of the face that I can even have the chance to think such positive things again. I was once scared of love due to feeling abandoned but I’ve been shown so many times that love is not to be feared. I have been shown by both of you that love is to instead be cherished and shared among everyone, even those who feel broken inside. When I first moved into your home, during nights that I was upset and lonely I would cry. Now I am able to stop the tears before they fall. I happily think to myself that beyond my closed bedroom door there are people who care. I’ve never believed in others whenever they told me that they were “here for me”…until now. Now I believe. I also believe in love and how its overpowering, never ending strength can significantly change another person’s outlook on life. I don’t think I could ever truly explain how much you guys mean to me. All of your comfort and warmth that you each bring during conversations, hugs, laughs and smiles can never be replaced. I truly mean that. I don’t ever want to be apart from either of you or your family. I don’t think I could ever find another place that is as excepting as the presence of your home. I truly want to be a part of the family for as long as I will remember.
I love the feeling of being wanted and loved. I love the feeling of being wanted and loved by you two even more.
I am proud to tell others that you’re my parents. For these reasons I have two questions that I have been struggling to ask yet….
“I don’t want to wait until tomorrow to tell you how I feel the rest of my life. You don’t want to waste another minute to realize. Walking on the dark side of the evening maybe it was you who opened my eyes burning like a fire on the water in a city of black and white.”*
I want to be adopted into your family.
So will you consider me your daughter forever and “won’t you just stay?”
This is a real letter written by a 16 year old therapeutic foster teen in the Waterford Country School program to her foster parents. When she came to this family over two years ago she had no desire for adoption or permanency. Printed with her permission. Names have been changed. (*Lyrics from City of Black and White by Matt Kearney)